Free Thought!

Who am I?

The question is who I am. The problem is who am I? Am I my name? In that case I’m Isaiah, but what I am called is not who I am, unless it is. It is merely descriptive of who I am. See, I can change my name so that possibly could not be who I am.

What defines me? I am human. Body, spirit, soul. That’s what I am but not who I am. Who I am are is more personal. In order to know I must myself the question, who am I?

Am I the characteristics that I am composed of? In that case it’s good and/or evil. I would be a collaboration of traits of which the totality is definitive of me, which goes by the name of Isaiah. All the while I can’t help but think of God. God is a totality of all the characteristics such as He is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and etc. God is never changing. He is perfect in all His attributes.He defines Himself, as He defines all things.

Who I am is constantly changing or is neutral. More accurately, constantly changing, as with all others whether they believe it or not. I can’t say I am who I am because who I am is always changing. Only God can say “I am who I am” or “I am that which I am.” God is who He is.

I will not always be who I am now. If I were to say “I’m me” then that’s perfectly fine at the moment, but let’s say in twenty years I say “I am me,” the “me” in twenty years is not the “me” now and I will have become something I was not. The past me is not who I am, who I am presently is not who I am going to be, and who I am going to be is not who I am. This means that who I am becoming is equally if not more important than who I am. Am I becoming more like Christ? or am I becoming more like the world? Am I becoming more like God? or am I becoming more like the Devil Lucifer?

I could say that I am kind, loving, compassionate, lustful, prideful, and use other characteristics to describe myself. The error with this is that to what extent can I honestly say that I am each of those. I will use “I am loving” as an example. The first question is do I let this love define me or do I define my love? Can I love one person yet hate another? No, I would not be loving then; I would be a liar. In order to say you love, you must always love. Therefore, I can only say that I love based on partiality. This then brings me to the question again what am I becoming? Am I becoming caring, loving, compassionate, or are am I becoming apathetic, hateful, prideful?

In order to continue I must ask myself the following.

What affects who I am? If I am the totality of partial characteristics then what determines which are becoming fulfilled and which are being emptied. This brings to my mind the old saying, “You are the very company you keep” and the Scripture which says, “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Cor. 15:33 -NLT) I know many people try to say, ” Well, I won’t let them change me,” but that is just pride and arrogance showing. I could think of many old saying to further this such as, ” Birds of a feather flock together.” One more Scriptural passage:

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the Devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from them and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you. (2 Cor. 6:14-17 -NLT)

I have dealt with who God is and what affects who I am. “Who am I?” is still a good question, which I still feel I have not accurately explained. I do not believe it is possible to answer who I am. The only thing left I could possibly do is compare myself to who Christ is. He is never changing, he is unconditionally loving, good, and so much more. I have come to the realization that I can’t make myself who I want to be. I can not be good always; I can not be fully loving. It is true I can become more loving and a better person, in the sense that presence of good qualities displayed out weighs the bad, but that is not good enough.

I find it best to look to God since I can not decide who I am and let Him tell me who I am and let Him control who I am becoming. God says I am to be perfect, in Him. This means outside of God I am imperfect and can not reach perfection. The perfection I am speaking of is the perfection of the godly characteristics. These godly characteristics are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These have no conflict with God’s law. God’s law though requires perfection. Christ fulfilled the law remedying this problem, but I am called to draw closer to Christ and become more like him, which is only possible through him.

I need to keep from falling in the error of thinking I can be a good person and make it into heaven so I must realize that this is not about what I can do to alter who I am or more precisely who I am becoming. I am imperfect so it would be foolish for me to point at another person and compare myself to them because who I should compare myself to is God. I could say I love more than others but that means nothing.

In conclusion, all I can really say is this, I may not know who I am or who I am becoming but I do know who He is and that He is never changing. With that as my mission statement I can continue to live contently not knowing myself yet trusting that He is taking me to where I need to be. I will walk to the best of my ability and be the best that I can be but all relies upon Him.

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~ by zealfire on January 20, 2010.

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